Words by Smiley Team
‘Sex With Cancer’ is a new online shop and public campaign aiming to change the conversation around sex and cancer.
Having cancer hugely impacts a person’s body, body image and mind – but so far, there has been little discussion of the effect on someone’s sex life.
Cancer patients have to deal with surgeries, scars, chemotherapy and radiotherapy – and so much more. Low libido can be caused both by medicines and treatments, but also by stress and trauma, which can sadly accompany a person’s experience with cancer.
Set up by two friends, artists and former cancer patients, Brian Lobel and Joon-Lynn Goh, Sex with Cancer is exploring how people living with and beyond cancer can take agency over their own health and wellbeing.
(Read about one community who came together for a cancer patient)
The collective, which has been supported with public funding thanks to Arts Council England, worked with a community of patients, cancer nurses, psychosexual therapists, pleasure activists and sex toy experts, to provide peer-led advice and practical solutions that really help people.
20 years ago, Brian was diagnosed with stage three metastatic testicular cancer aged 20, and Joon-Lynn was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer at the start of 2018. Their experiences prompted them to question, what if cancer patients got together to design their own sex shop?
Over the last two years, they’ve worked to collate 200 questions that people living with and beyond cancer most want to ask about sex, intimacy and relationships.
The top 25 questions were put to the 'Sex with Cancer' steering group for a range of peer and expert perspectives, with worries such as how to claim back ownership of your body, and communicating your needs with a partner, to navigating dating profiles.
(This mum raised more than £80,000 for brain tumour awareness)
The platform is divided into three sections; ask, learn and shop. People can explore art works, essays and resources that look at cancer, masculinity, being young, getting older, and starting a conversation about sex.
Then there’s a vibrant and fun selection of products that have been specifically selected to respond to the questions that people with cancer and their loved ones have asked about living with (and beyond) cancer.
Working in partnership with Sh! Womens Emporium, the shop curator Toni has selected each product to provide the maximum versatility and pleasure possible.
The aim is to create a safe space that is available to all genders and bodies, that isn’t afraid to delve into embarrassing topics. It’s all about promoting confidence, with the reassurance that your experiences will be shared by many others, too.
You can find out more about Sex With Cancer and how it is supporting people’s wellbeing here.
