Words by Smiley Team
When Covid-19 hit the UK at the beginning of 2020, man guru and founder of nonprofit MenSpeak, Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz felt strongly that men would benefit from a safe space to vent their emotions together if they were to get through the pandemic without too much struggle. Today marks the anniversary of MenSpeak, which provides men with early-intervention wellbeing and mental health support.
Following his convictions, Mammarella-D'Cruz set up MenCheck-ins, which in one year have helped thousands of men by offering them an opportunity to voice their emotions without the fear of being judged.
As opposed to mental health sessions, the check-ins simply offer a space in which men can relax together. They can support each other’s wellbeing through connecting with one another, feeling part of a community and having a laugh together.
"We aim at early prevention of mental health issues. If a man has nowhere to share the small stuff or just hang out before he knows it he could be facing bigger problems down the line," said Mammarella-D'Cruz.
“We want these groups to be as available as 12-step programmes such as Alcoholics Anonymous and feel as normal a routine for men as heading to the gym for a workout or the pub to wind down.”
Echoing his sentiments, MenCheck-in regular Bertie Harriman-Smith explained: “The groups are essential for me for maintaining my sanity and remembering what life is really about… I can chat, hang out, laugh, talk about real issues and feel connected in such a disconnected and chaotic time. I’ve checked in while I’ve been dangerously on the edge and I’ve also shown up for good company with nothing in particular up at all.”
Mammarella-D'Cruz created MenCheck-ins after Covid-19 triggered flashbacks of hiding from the secret police while growing up in Uganda. It was then that he realised other men might be struggling in similar ways.
“I knew that if I was getting triggered then others might be too,” he explained. “Men typically get into their heads and try to fix things, which can be incredibly isolating. My intention was for men to speak things out and be heard, rather than lash out at others around them, or lash in on themselves with obsessive thinking, depression, and suicidal thoughts, so on the day of the first lockdown I launched the daily MenCheck-In groups.”
If you’re interested in joining the men's groups, they run online daily, from Monday to Saturday 12.30 pm till 1.30 pm, and on Sundays from 10.30 am to 11.30 am.
The sessions are personally funded by Kenny and further supported by donations. Make a contribution via the MenSpeak website. Your generosity helps them to pay for Zoom membership, website domain costs, administration, marketing and other essential costs.
Kenny holds day training sessions for men and women to facilitate their own groups. Facilitators of MenSpeak men’s groups, WomenSpeak women’s groups, the young men’s and mature men’s groups volunteer their time for free. You can see a recorded group online men’s group and get hold of Kenny’s ebook “Online Men’s Group Success: a step-by-step guide to facilitating personal development groups for men” here.
